Getting things all in order now. I feel like there is so much to do - just not enough time to do it. However, I am off to a great start. I pretty much got the kids room all done. Painted it, changed it around, cleaned it, and decorated it. All it needs now is a crib and a baby! I love the room so much that today I just went into it and sat in my grandmother's rocking chair and just looked around. I know Jorde isn't thrilled about the whole situation, however, that why I wanted to do it now. I wanted him to get used to it so when the baby does come - it wasn't going to be a harder situation. We had some moments over the weekend were we don't see eye to eye - but I just have to try and deal with my emotions and remember things are changing for all of us.
So I also painted the bathroom and next will get our room all situated to add the porta-crib. Not going to paint the room (even though I think it will help me like it better) but some curtains and a new dresser will make a difference. Each week I am just going to get things knocked off my list and before I know it - the baby will be here and the house will ok.
She is moving like a worm. Not sure how else to describe it because I have no idea what she is doing in there. I just know she is poking me and I love it. It makes me feel like I am doing something right because she is alive and breathing. At night I put my hands on my stomach and press just a little and feel her heartbeat. I am looking forward to the next sonogram in June because I get to see her again!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
It's a ...
April was a tough month, but at the end of the month things got much better. So many thoughts going through my head - where do I start?!
Work is getting busy, which has been great. The day goes by fast and I am learning. Went to training in Charlotte and got sick. That's where it all started! Appartently going through gastric bypass there are several post surgery things you go through that not everyone tells you. The loss of hair is a big one (well for me). I am dealing with it, but I don't like it. Thankfully I don't have to get my gall bladder out since it's already gone, but apparently after 100 pounds you have the gall bladder pain and most people need to get it removed. And now I find out that an internal hernia can occure and most likely needs to be removed. The hernia can cause infections and lots of pain. This is what I currently have - however, nothing can be done right now. But can I tell you - the pain it causes! I was out of work for 3 days! Probably could have come back sooner however, I was in training away from home for the first 2 days without any drugs and answers! So for the time being if I can bare the pain - the better. However, so far no pain - and doctor says - baby will probably help it!
Ok - on to fun stuff! Baby!! I have this new found love. I have become attached to my baby and it isn't even born yet. But I know my motherly feelings are developing! Everything I do going forward is for my child and now I know how others feel.
So - Monday I had a great doctor's appointment. I got to see the baby move and the heart beat going. And... the doctor told me - I am having.... a ..... GIRL! I couldn't believe it. The doctor said she is doing great - everything looks normal and I just have to keep doing what I am doing. I haven't gain any weight - but they didn't seem so concerned with that right now. As long as I am eating and taking my pills and helping the baby grow - that's what is important.
A GIRL! Can you believe it. Since Monday - my life changed. It has hit me more and I am in the mode to plan for her arrival. I am 20 weeks along and hope to have 20 weeks to finish preparing. I love being pregnant! It's such a great feeling! Feeling her move and hearing her heart beat! It's the greatest feeling in the world. In 8 weeks I get to see her again at another sonogram. I can't wait! I miss seeing her! I know - silly - but I love her!
Work is getting busy, which has been great. The day goes by fast and I am learning. Went to training in Charlotte and got sick. That's where it all started! Appartently going through gastric bypass there are several post surgery things you go through that not everyone tells you. The loss of hair is a big one (well for me). I am dealing with it, but I don't like it. Thankfully I don't have to get my gall bladder out since it's already gone, but apparently after 100 pounds you have the gall bladder pain and most people need to get it removed. And now I find out that an internal hernia can occure and most likely needs to be removed. The hernia can cause infections and lots of pain. This is what I currently have - however, nothing can be done right now. But can I tell you - the pain it causes! I was out of work for 3 days! Probably could have come back sooner however, I was in training away from home for the first 2 days without any drugs and answers! So for the time being if I can bare the pain - the better. However, so far no pain - and doctor says - baby will probably help it!
Ok - on to fun stuff! Baby!! I have this new found love. I have become attached to my baby and it isn't even born yet. But I know my motherly feelings are developing! Everything I do going forward is for my child and now I know how others feel.
So - Monday I had a great doctor's appointment. I got to see the baby move and the heart beat going. And... the doctor told me - I am having.... a ..... GIRL! I couldn't believe it. The doctor said she is doing great - everything looks normal and I just have to keep doing what I am doing. I haven't gain any weight - but they didn't seem so concerned with that right now. As long as I am eating and taking my pills and helping the baby grow - that's what is important.
A GIRL! Can you believe it. Since Monday - my life changed. It has hit me more and I am in the mode to plan for her arrival. I am 20 weeks along and hope to have 20 weeks to finish preparing. I love being pregnant! It's such a great feeling! Feeling her move and hearing her heart beat! It's the greatest feeling in the world. In 8 weeks I get to see her again at another sonogram. I can't wait! I miss seeing her! I know - silly - but I love her!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Pants!
So I did it - finally broke down and bought my first pair of maternity pants! And let me tell you - they are the most comfortable pants I ever wore! They fit real good and they are even a size large! Even when I am pregnant I fit into a large. I'm no longer XX or X - I am a large!! Very exciting for me.
Now that I can fit into "normal" size clothes - the shopping experiences are so much better. I don't get as frustrated and I don't feel limited to 1 or 2 stores. I still have to get out of the mind set that I don't shop in plus size stores anymore. I can shop at any store and be able to find nice things - that aren't "grandma" looking (meaning - like I am 90!).
Went shopping for other things as well, got an outfit, and a dress. Things that actually fit me now.
So I have been thinking about my food cravings. Can't really think of what I crave the most - I do eat all the time! But I haven't gained weight. Which I think is ok - but a little nervous about not gaining. Funny huh - I actually want to gain weight. But it's not like I don't eat. I do. Eric keeps saying to me - didn't you just have a snack! But I remember what I read in my baby book - if your starving, then your baby is starving. I'm not going to have that happen. I think my nutrition is good, right now the only concern I have is that the baby will be a good size and is growing good. Next doctor's appt. should reassure me that we are good.
Now that I can fit into "normal" size clothes - the shopping experiences are so much better. I don't get as frustrated and I don't feel limited to 1 or 2 stores. I still have to get out of the mind set that I don't shop in plus size stores anymore. I can shop at any store and be able to find nice things - that aren't "grandma" looking (meaning - like I am 90!).
Went shopping for other things as well, got an outfit, and a dress. Things that actually fit me now.
So I have been thinking about my food cravings. Can't really think of what I crave the most - I do eat all the time! But I haven't gained weight. Which I think is ok - but a little nervous about not gaining. Funny huh - I actually want to gain weight. But it's not like I don't eat. I do. Eric keeps saying to me - didn't you just have a snack! But I remember what I read in my baby book - if your starving, then your baby is starving. I'm not going to have that happen. I think my nutrition is good, right now the only concern I have is that the baby will be a good size and is growing good. Next doctor's appt. should reassure me that we are good.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Baby Pic!
First baby picture! Had a sonogram the other day and it was really cool. The baby was kicking and waving it's hand. Seeing it move was really cool to watch. We heard the heart beat and it was beating at a great rate. The technician said if it continues to grow the way it is, then it's going to be tall. I guess it has long legs already. Surely didn't get it from my side! I think late April if all goes right we should get to know what it is. I am looking forward to that, because then I will be ready to buy things. Still feeling a bit tired, but no other sickness to really count. A bit emotional - but that's normal, right?!
On other notes - nothing much else to report. I passed my last class with an A- again! Keeping up the streak! Now I am in Economics. Week 1 is almost done and so far it's not that bad. We will see how the rest of the class goes.
My weight is ok. Since I found out that I was going to have a baby I have lost 8 pounds. It's not like I am trying! I eat all the time, but I think in most cases I am eating healthier. I have my moments were I tend to eat stuff I am not supposed to, but I do work on getting that protein in. I never knew how much harder it is until I had surgery. I guess it's because my stomach is so small that when I used to eat the carbs and stuff I still had room for the protein. But now I need to change that around and eat the protein first then the other stuff. It's all a process!
On other notes - nothing much else to report. I passed my last class with an A- again! Keeping up the streak! Now I am in Economics. Week 1 is almost done and so far it's not that bad. We will see how the rest of the class goes.
My weight is ok. Since I found out that I was going to have a baby I have lost 8 pounds. It's not like I am trying! I eat all the time, but I think in most cases I am eating healthier. I have my moments were I tend to eat stuff I am not supposed to, but I do work on getting that protein in. I never knew how much harder it is until I had surgery. I guess it's because my stomach is so small that when I used to eat the carbs and stuff I still had room for the protein. But now I need to change that around and eat the protein first then the other stuff. It's all a process!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
It's Real...
It's really official - even though I knew, it's been really confirmed for me... I'm having a baby!
I got to hear the heart beat today. Even though I know I am pregnant, it doesn't feel like it. However, because I heard the heartbeat, it made it a little more real. It was a huge joy to hear and know that it has a heart. It's a baby! This is something I won't every forget.
I am 11 weeks 6 days - on track for September 16th. I know right now it seems far away, but before I know it, it will be here. Feeling good. I have been a little nauseated here and there. But keeping food down. Eating all the time - and still lost 4 pounds. Doctor not concerned, but I shouldn't lose much more. I am eating all the time. Probably 8-10 little meals a day. But I am eating the healthy foods. That's the biggest difference - no more bowls of icecream and pizza. Veggies, fruit and lean protein!
I am looking forward to finding out the gender of our baby. Once I do, I will be buying things left and right. Not sure what the first item will be, but it will make me remember it!
I think the shock has worn off, but still a little nervous but more excited is happening. We will see how the next few weeks go!
I got to hear the heart beat today. Even though I know I am pregnant, it doesn't feel like it. However, because I heard the heartbeat, it made it a little more real. It was a huge joy to hear and know that it has a heart. It's a baby! This is something I won't every forget.
I am 11 weeks 6 days - on track for September 16th. I know right now it seems far away, but before I know it, it will be here. Feeling good. I have been a little nauseated here and there. But keeping food down. Eating all the time - and still lost 4 pounds. Doctor not concerned, but I shouldn't lose much more. I am eating all the time. Probably 8-10 little meals a day. But I am eating the healthy foods. That's the biggest difference - no more bowls of icecream and pizza. Veggies, fruit and lean protein!
I am looking forward to finding out the gender of our baby. Once I do, I will be buying things left and right. Not sure what the first item will be, but it will make me remember it!
I think the shock has worn off, but still a little nervous but more excited is happening. We will see how the next few weeks go!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
There is a Reason...
So it's been forever since I blogged - so much has been going on! So, I have finally reached the 100 pound mark, meaning I have lost 100 pounds. Since then, I have lost a little more as well. I am now in the 100's - now more 200s!! My hope is to still lose those 40 pounds, but I'm in no rush to do that. Clothes are more enjoyable now. The hair that I lost really bums me out. But, it's only hair - typicall everyone loses it someday! I feel a thousand times better then I did last year at this time. I have more confidence, and more energy. I don't want to sit still. I sleep so much better - and I get 8 hours and I am good. I know I shouldn't dread on the small things because look what I have done - but the hair loss is what bothers me the most. I don't regret what I did, but I wish I knew more about how much I would lose and how to get it back! I had thin hair to begin with, and now it's so much thinner! I will figure it out someday!
Never thought things would happen to me so quickly after surgery. Miracles, even the shocking and unexpected are good. Everything happends for a reason and I am truly blessed to have the family I have.
I have gone through my roller coaster emotions - and I am sure there are more to come. I have had joy, excitment, depression, fear, and the what the hell.....moments. But in the end - everything happens for a reason. God gives me what I can handle. He won't give me what I can't. I truly believe that. The challenges in life are there for a reason. We may not know what they are now - but in due time they are revealed.
September will change my life. I have little time to prepare - and if you know more, I like to prepare. But the time I have, I will do what I can. My focus - is not about me anymore. It's about my family to come!
Never thought things would happen to me so quickly after surgery. Miracles, even the shocking and unexpected are good. Everything happends for a reason and I am truly blessed to have the family I have.
I have gone through my roller coaster emotions - and I am sure there are more to come. I have had joy, excitment, depression, fear, and the what the hell.....moments. But in the end - everything happens for a reason. God gives me what I can handle. He won't give me what I can't. I truly believe that. The challenges in life are there for a reason. We may not know what they are now - but in due time they are revealed.
September will change my life. I have little time to prepare - and if you know more, I like to prepare. But the time I have, I will do what I can. My focus - is not about me anymore. It's about my family to come!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Hello 2011!
New Year - New Me! Working on those old resolutions that are new. I have three of them this year. 1. Lose the last 40 pounds and tone. 2. Work on controlling my temper. 3. Work on having an honest, trusting, and communicated relationship with Eric.
2010 was a tough year for me in terms of my relationship, but I think as the year went on - things got better. I truly believe that each year it does get better and better. We both of things we need to work on in order to be together, and I feel like we can accomplish that if we are truly committed to each other.
2011 already has tested me - but I believe I passed with flying colors. Tough love is hard - but at the end of the day it is a good. Right Dad!
I have one more day of free/nothing to do. And then it's back to work and school. I have enjoyed my time alone at home, and rested and watch lots of movies. Not really wanting to go back to work, but I know it will be good. I just have a long 6 months ahead of me. However, I feel like I can do good things.
I am ready for 2011 - I am energized and know everything will happen for a reason! Let's begin 2011!
2010 was a tough year for me in terms of my relationship, but I think as the year went on - things got better. I truly believe that each year it does get better and better. We both of things we need to work on in order to be together, and I feel like we can accomplish that if we are truly committed to each other.
2011 already has tested me - but I believe I passed with flying colors. Tough love is hard - but at the end of the day it is a good. Right Dad!
I have one more day of free/nothing to do. And then it's back to work and school. I have enjoyed my time alone at home, and rested and watch lots of movies. Not really wanting to go back to work, but I know it will be good. I just have a long 6 months ahead of me. However, I feel like I can do good things.
I am ready for 2011 - I am energized and know everything will happen for a reason! Let's begin 2011!
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