Goodbye 2010!

It's the last day of 2010 - and like most people I am reflecting on what the year has been for me. I have made some mistakes - like we all do. But I have learned from them - or at least - I think I have. I have many ups and downs - and I have also lost 98 pounds. Going into 2010 I never thought that was going to happened. I was upset and depressed being so overweight - but I finally did something about it.

I am glad I made the choice to have surgery to help my weight loss. I don't think I could have done it without the help. I have more energy, I have more time to do things. I just feel a lot better. I look good, and I feel good about it. I like to go shopping now and I still like food. Learning how to eat and what to eat is something that is a daily lesson, but I don't stress about it anymore.

I am happy that I started my MBA program. It is a lot of work - and I am tired - but I know it's going to be worth it in the end. All things are possible. 2011 will be a promising year for my career. I have the chance to shine - and that is what I am going to do. It's going to be hard work - but I know God is giving me this chance to do what I am supposed to do.

2011 is a year of me. Not to be selfish - but I am going to be. I have done so much for others and I don't feel like I get the same in return. I feel like I need to make myself happy before I can make others happy. Not sure what is in store for me - but I know, I am going to work on making me happy.

I turn 30 this coming year. Never thought this is where I would be in my life at this point. But this is the plan that God had for me. Teaching me patience and control.

I miss my grandparents. I wish they were all around to have their wisdom and company. I know they look down from heaven upon me and my family, but I still miss them.

Looking forward to a better 2011!

Holidays

Made it through my first Thanksgiving after surgery. I managed to do really good. I didn't think it would be too hard, but was a little nervous. But because its been about 5 months since surgery, I know what I can eat and how much. Turkey was good - ate that first. Made sure I got my protein in first. Had a little bit of everything else. Even dessert was good. Had the smallest piece of pie I had ever ate. I didn't think I deprived myself at all. It was very refreshing.

I delayed one class for a week. Glad I did it. I didn't have to worry about getting any assignments in and what not. This is will be my first free weekend in 12 weeks! I have completed 3 classes and next week I will be starting my 4th. I am doing well... on track. I needed the break. I think it was good. If after 3 classes I take 1 week to recoop - then I will be ready for another 3.

Working on the excerise part. Slow but I know I have to get to it. It will come when I have the mind set.

I Can Do It!

Today I had my 2 follow up from my surgery. 4 months later - 90 pounds lighter - I couldn't be happier. My doctor was very pleased. Encouraged me to pack protein snacks for emergency situations. Like - HOLIDAYS! Getting back on the protein kick to get ready to take on the holiday season. Also good news from the doctor's office... I can take regular vitamins again!! This is good news because the vitamins at the doctor's are kinda expensive and don't taste all that great... so now she suggested that I take a regular multi-vitamin and then one of my chewable expensive ones. This should help me get my levels up and stay healthy. Overall, really good visit!

Afterwards I went shopping! I was in a good mood - and I thought I could kill some time and got a couple new sweaters. It is such a great feeling that I can go into a plus size store and have to pick the smallest size! Soon I will be able to go to a regular (non-plus size) store and have more options! Looking forward to that. I even got new lounge pants that don't just slide off anymore!!

I am getting practice on getting up earlier - so soon I will get up and not just get ready for work, but get on the elliptical again! Goal - 3 days a week, 30 minutes. I want to get the stomach gut down - then my pants and skirts will look a lot better.

Next doctor's appointment is in 6 months - my goal then is to be at my goal weight - 140 pounds lost. I have 50 pounds to go - I CAN DO IT!!

Bones!

I can't believe it's just about 1/2 way through November and I hadn't blogged all month! Life is getting busy. That's a good thing. Balancing work, school and home is always a challenge - but it's a good challenge.

The one thing that I wanted to talk about for a little while now is about my bones. Skinny people may not know this feeling, but when you start to loose weight, and a lot of weight with that, you start to notice your bones. I have found my neck and shoulder bones. My hip bone I can feel now too. The fat is no longer covering it up. It's a weird feeling, but I love it. I notice my self feeling my bones and before I realize what it is, I'm always in this state of mind of... oh my god... what is that... then I realize, my fat is going away and my bones are popping out!! I am starting to take shape - so to speak!!

So the holidays are approaching us. This is will be my first thanksgiving/Christmas holiday with my new way of eating. I think I will be ok. I will just take it slow and remember to eat the meat first and have tiny bits of everything else. I am really looking forward to the holidays. I feel better then I have in a long time. I think some of it relates to my weight lost and the energy I have now.

So in two days I have my follow up with my doctor. It will be 4 1/2 months since surgery. And I am at 90 pounds lost... as of today! Can you believe that!! I can't. That's like a couple of these small kids... Jorde plus Emma. That is what I was carrying around for a long time. My feet feel better, my knees are better. I don't have as much heart pain that I had. My energy! It's all worth it. I got about 40-50 pounds to go... then I will reach my ultimate goal. I never thought I would get there - and I now know I will. I feel like I can also get through the holidays without over doing it on the food!

Finally... I did it!

I did it! Finally! I got on the elliptical! It has been a long time coming - and now I just have to keep going. Ok, so it's day 1 of getting back on track. Now I need day 4-5-6 and so on! But I am just happy that I did it. Tomorrow will be the test.

Ok - so the morning routine didn't happen. I just can't get up in the morning. So I have to do it after work and before school. Guess it's a compromise that I am just willing to do. Maybe it will get me more motivation and energy later to get up in the morning to get it done with and get my day going off to a great start!

Routine!

Now it's time to get into the swing of things. I need a routine. Not sure how I am going to go about doing this, but I am need it. When I get home from work, I just want to relax, however, I have school work and other things that need to get done. I struggle to get up in the morning any earlier then I really have to - so that's not working out for me. Ideally, get up in the morning, do the elliptical, and school work. Go to work. Come home, relax, make dinner, relax, and go to bed. But that might mean I need to get up at 6am - can I do it? Maybe I should take small steps. Start with the exercising part and work my way up to doing school work in the AM.

Fall cleaning is here. Today we are all about getting this house cleaned! Loads of laundry, clothes to good will.... school is done for today.... so now it's about moving furniture, dusting things off, washing blankets, and cleaning things out! I made a deal... Eric helps me today with all this - I will leave him alone to watch football tomorrow! Good deal I think!

This new class is hard! Business law is a lot of work. Very interesting, but lots of reading and just a lot of facts you need to know. All I can do is keep going forward and hope that I come out on top!

Life is Good!

It's been awhile, over a month but I am trying to get back to blogging. It really has helped me put down my feelings and share my thoughts. I have been up and down on this whole surgery thing. Meaning, I have good days and bad days... which is normal in life. There are days I hate food because I can't seem to keep anything down, or I really want that cupcake and I know I shouldn't. But then there are days where I do really good. I get my vitamin intake - I am doing well on protein and the weight goes down!

I finally went out this week and bought new clothes. Not many, just some to get be by right now. I got two pairs of jeans, a pair of pants for work, and 2 sweaters. Thinking I want to go out and get 1-2 more sweaters and one more pair of pants for work. I knew my clothes were big on me, but I didn't know how big. I finally looked at my whole self in the mirror and saw - I look awful in these clothes. It was time. This shopping experience was the best one I have had in probably my entire life. I am now in sizes I don't remember. It has been over 10 years since I had these sizes and felt great. I had to try on 4 pairs of jeans to get to the right size. And I didn't have to go up... I was trying on smaller sizes!! It sure does help your self confidence when that happens.

I have lost a total of 77 pounds. I was in high school last time I weighed this amount. I never thought I could do it. But now is the hard part... 65 more pounds to go... and a whole lot more exercising to do. I can't keep giving excuses - I will no longer be that size again and if I don't get up and move - I could be. I am so much more happier and I just have to keep going.

Of course there are bad days, but as time goes on - I am learning. It's a whole change. This is for the rest of your life. You have to be ready for that. You won't be able to eat like you have in the past. One of the hardest parts I have been dealing with, is when I am upset I used to go for the comfort fatty foods. I can't do that any more... I am finding a better way to deal with being upset. The best thing... going for that walk!

My second class is coming to an end. I have 1 assignment left and then I am on to Business Law. Six more weeks of school then I am taking a little break.

I feel good. I am happy and I am staying busy. That's what I wanted. Life is good!